Before you say "If you need anything"

Have you ever been going through a difficult trial, and had good friends and family tell you "Let me know if you need anything!".

How many times have you actually let them know?
Have you been the one saying the same phrase to someone going through a difficult time?
How many times have they actually gotten back to you to let you know what they really needed?
When we learn that a friend or a loved one or even somebody we don't know so well is going through a trial (loss of a loved one, loss of health, loss of means of income...), we would love to do something.
It is natural to say " Let me know if you need anything!".
This is a really nice phrase, but before we say it, especially if we really mean it, we should think about the effect it can have on the person in need.

When you are overwhelmed by grief, by medical bills that need to be paid, by sleepless nights worrying how you are going to survive, how you are going to make it better for your kids, if you are going to loose your job/business and by any other troublesome thought coming from your trial, having someone asking you to think:
"What can my friend do for me" and also find the strenght and the firmness of mind to actually ask, no matter how much they mean it, it is just another burden to bear.

So how do you let your loved one(s) know that you REALLY are there for him/her/them?

First of all, Pray.
Pray like you really mean it. Ask the Lord specifically how He can use you to lift the burden that has been placed on that person, and then be ready to act on any prompting you might have"
Second, let them know you have been praying for them, even more, let them know what you have been praying about.
(If you are not a religious person, you can always think deeply about them, and let them know that they have been in your thoughts)
Third, just be there. Have your eyes, ears, mind, heart open so that you can see a need, fill a need.

Need some ideas?

Whether you live closed to them or far away, there is something in this list that you could do:

- Send a card. Send more than one.
- Write an email. Write more than one.
- Make a phone call (but make sure the person has the desire/strenght to talk with anyone)
- Offer a shoulder to cry on (litterally or figuratively)
- Hug them (but don't overwhelm them!)
- Are they or their loved ones in the hospital? Go visit them, and if they could use the company, play cards with them, bring a movie, share a story, make them laugh. Take care of their mail.
- Is someone having surgery? Be with the loved one in the waiting room, or watch their kids. If you are far away or that person prefers to be alone, send text messages, inspiring thoughts on facebook, keep praying for them.
- Stop by the house and offer to bring groceries (food might be the last thought when you are filled with worries)
- Offer to get the kids out of the house (sometimes you need time to be alone and think, or to be with your spouse and figure out things together without kids being kids, and the kids need time to just be kids and not worry about what the family is going through; knowing that there is someone beside their parent(s) that cares about them can be such a comfort for them!)
- Do their yard work (who has time to mow, trim edges and/or water a garden when there are much higher priorities?)
- Is there anything broken that needs to be fixed? Fences, doors, windows, roof, driveway, if you have the ability and the tools to do it, or if you know who to call for it that could volunteer some of their time and talents, take care of it... Chances are, if that trial has been going on for a while, there was no time to take care of anything else (not to mention the burden that nasty HOA letters bring to the family in need)
- Bring a meal (make sure you know about any food sensitivities/restrictions, and if possible opt for freezer friendly meals and/or fresh fruit and vegetables, and make sure to gather efforst with other people and spread the help through several days/weeks if needed).
- If the person is ok with it, do their laundry, wash their dishes, sweep their floor, change their baby's diaper or anything that might be needed (please respect it when a person kindly declines this kind of help. Some people are just private about their homes, and they might just feel uncomfortable having someone else go throught their dirty dishes, clothes, etc especially if they had not been able to properly take care of them for a long time).
- Put together a care package (if you can, try to tailor it to specific needs: Is your friend a health freak? Is anyone in the family allergic to something? What is their favorite treat/snack? Do they only use natural products or they like anything that smells good? Do they collect something? What books do they read? What kind of movies? Do they like flowers? Do they like them cut or in a pot? Is there any food that is difficult for them to get where they are? Is there anything that could remind them of home? Could a trip to the movies, zoo, cultural even brighten their day? )
- Do their children need a ride to school, to practice, to the dr? If you can, be around enough to know when such needs arise.

- Do the kids need any school supplies? Offer to get them for them, or get the kids to come out with you and get what they need.
- Does this person or any other member of his/her household have a business? More than likely during this trial they have not been able to focus on it, they might have been loosing customers, or publicity: support them in that business, in any way you can think of (buy their products, bring referrals, share online etc).
- Can that person drive? Maybe because of health condition or car accident that person cannot drive: offer to give them rides, to the store, to the beach, to their job place.
- Is there any burocratic stuff that needs to be taken care of? There is nothing worst, when you are grieving or worrying about your sick loved one, or your own health, than having to deal with medical bills, payments, documents, or any other similar things. If you have any kind of experience with it, offer to do it for them.
- If the person is ok with the publicity, you can start a fundraiser for them. If not, you could collect money and then privately bring it to them, or bring it to their church or community leader (a thoughtful card is always a great addition, and allows the receiver to feel better about receiving money that they did not work for).
- If there is a funeral involved, chances are there are going to be lots of family in town. Bring a meal, bring plastic paper and cups, bring toilet paper, diapers, wipes, toothbrushes! If the house is not big enough for the amount of people that are going to be there, offer to host some of the family members. Offer to go pick them up at the airport! Do you have extra air miles? Offer to get the ticket for a family member that could not otherwise be there.
- When things seem to be getting better, don't forget about them. The situation might be improving, but it could also happen that the person(s) is tired to talk about the trial.
- Offer to run errands for them or watch their kids and/or pets while they get back on their feet, or while they take a much needed break.
- Show that you enjoy their company, they are not just a charity case.
- Don't judge! You will never be able to completely understand why someone is in the  situation they are in. Everyone's trial is their own, we only need to be there for them with a open heart, (and closed eyes, if needed).
- Ask: "Can I do anything else?". Chances are, if the person you have served has been able to see how much you have enjoyed serving him/her, they might actually ask you for help next time.
- If you say that you are going to do something, do it! If for some reason you can't anymore, explain it, and if you can do something else to make up for it, do it. When you are in need, it is pretty heart breaking when you trust someone to help you and then they bail on you.

There is so much more that can be added to this list, and I will probably add to it as my life experiences grow.
And remember, we might not be able to help everyone, but we can ALWAYS help someone.

Serving someone in need will not only benefit the receiver, but will bless the giver ten times fold.
A person might not feel like asking you to do a mile with him/her, but if your eyes are open and you are going the second mile anyway, your heart is going to be bigger, and you will be one of the amazing people that make the world a better place by being God's hands in action.

40 RAOK for my big 4-0

Last Saturday was my birthday, my big 4-0 birthday, and I wanted it to be different. For a long time I have been thinking of making my birthday a day of giving instead of a day of receiving...
After the various health issues my husband and I have had to face all of a sudden and practically at the same time, from the beginning of the year, and after all the acts of kindness we have received from family, friends, people we just knew a little, and even complete strangers, I just knew that I needed to do something to give back...
I decided to make my birthday a day of Random Act of kindness, possibly one for each year of my life.

In the beginning it was going to be just something between me, my husband and my children, but then I thought that it would be even more wonderful if friends and family members could join us in this adventure.
A couple days before my birthday, I decided. I created an event on facebook and invited as many friends and family as I could, at least the ones I thought would be more willing to do it.

I told them I did not want a party, I did not want a gift, what I really would have appreciated was that they would do even one little RAOK on my birthday.

Of the 300+ people I invited, only about 50 joined, but I was really happy that they were willing to do it.

I started a couple of my act of kindness a couple days before, because I did not know if I would be able to haul all my 4 energetic boys around all day, so I made some of the acts that required some kind of "delivery" during the few days preceding my birthday, just in case I run out of time.

Also, since I was born and raised in Italy, I considered my birthday to start at midnight, Italy time.

Since I promised my friends and family that I would give a report of the RAOK I was able to do, here it is:

1) Wrote a thank you card for my wonderful therapist, for all that she has done and is doing in helping me recuperate the use of my shoulder.

The boys made some sweet thank you cards too:)

  (I also thanked in different ways my chiropractor, my surgeon and my friend who introduced me to doTerra essential oils because they all contributed to my ongoing recovery).

2) While I was making dinner, my sweet aunt from Italy called, and I offered her my listening ear (it was past midnight in Italy, she  couldn't sleep). I truly enjoyed listening to all of her stories about her late husband and her children. I miss her a lot. We spoke for about 1/2 hour. Dinner was a little later than planned, but totally worth it.

3) We put a gift for our mail lady in the mail box, with a card to thank her for all of her hard work:)

 My 5 yr old made a little card for her too.

4)Brought cookies to the local fire station, to thank these wonderful firemen for keeping us safe.

5) Cut these cards for my kids teachers, and they wrote how lucky they are to have them as their teachers

6) Wrapped several Christmas cards from my card collection with some magazine paper and left it with a note on a friend's front door, for each member of the family to use next Christmas

7) Put little uplifting cards on various cars at the grocery store parking lot and in the neighborhood

 8) As soon as I woke up in the morning, I started writing individual messages of a blessed day or "buona giornata to 40+ friends and family members on facebook. I made sure that I wrote something meaningful, not just some casual generic words.

I was surprised at how many of them really appreciated this gesture, and some really seemed to need those words that day.

9) Brought some bread and cereal to the ducks in our subdivision's pond.

They weren't there, so we had to come back in the evening, but we did it! :)


10) We brought nice cool water on our way to the park, to give to anybody that seemed too hot and thirsty.

There was an old lady washing her car, she was very happy to accept the water. Then a man digging a huge hole, he looked exhausted, but he refused it... My poor 3 year old was pretty sad that man didn't want his water.


11) On our way back from the park there was this whole family looking very tired from working on their lawn all morning. They all had some big jugs full of iced drinks, so no need for the water bottles, but  we gave them a bag full of cookies. They were very surprised that we would give them the WHOLE bag, and we didn't even know them :)

12) We also stopped by the house of a policeman in our neighborhood and delivered our last bag of cookies to thank him for his service. He wasn't home, but we took time to talk a little with his father in law, who recently received a liver transplant. I was glad he was doing relatively good.

13) I prayed for everyone I saw on our way to and from the park.

14) I brought my 3 year old's  scooter on my shoulder on the way home, even if I had told him that if he chose to bring it, then he would have to go on it all the way to the park and then home, since I had to push the baby's trike. He looked too tired, my heart just couldn't bear seeing him like that. Nice thing, my neighbor saw me half way, and offered to haul the scooter in her car the remaining  way home:) So she got to do her RAOK too:)

15) Once home, since my boys (especially the 3yr old one) had asked about the cake non stop all morning, even if I wasn't planning on making one, I made a birthday cake.

16) Then I decided to make a second one to bring to someone that needed some "cheer me up"

17) The boys and I wrote 40 post-it notes for their daddy, and stuck them on the front door, so that he would be surprised when he came home from work.

He was indeed surprised and moved when he saw them :)

(He then proceeded to substitute some of the yellow post-it on the door with pink ones for me, while I had crashed exhausted for about an hour... I noticed them when we went out of the door to do  more RAOK all together, and I had to strive to keep the tears from flowing down my eyes...)

 

 This one in particular made me smile:)

Since there were egg whites left from making the 2 cakes, I looked for a recipe requiring egg whites, and made my first ever coconut macaroons. They came out a little big, but they tasted pretty good, so I decided they could brighten somebody's day.

18) Brought coconut cookies to a sweet neighbor (the same that helped me with my boy's scooter).

19) Brought organic home grown tomatoes to one of my kid's friend and her family. They were pretty surprised :)

20)Brought more coconut cookies to  another school friend's family. The boys really loved doing it.

21)Stuck coupons on products at the grocery store:)

22) Left  dollar bills on toys that were a dollar or less at a drug store.

I like to think that it will be  kids that will find them, and can imagine the huge grin on their face!

23) I made my boys' bed, even if that is their chore. They deserve a RAOK too :) (beside the cake).

24)We smiled at everyone we saw, and made a conscious effort to say hi and/or ask "How are you doing?", and mean it.

25) I called the Temple to have the names of two people that are having serious health problems on the temple prayer roll.

26) I clicked "like" on a friend business page, even if she didn't ask me too, to show her my support.

27) We pulled weeds from a neighbor's yard. I am pretty sure some other neighbor might have thought that our yard was the one that really needs some weed pulling! :)

28) Brought some Italian soda to a friend that had asked us to buy it for her, so that she didn't have to drive to our house to get it.

29)We picked up trash everywhere we went, park, store, church etc.

30) I pushed a few carts that were left around in the parking lot back to the store, so that they wouldn't be a hazard for other cars, since the cart boy was not out there.

31) Called my mom to say thank you for giving me birth. She loved especially hearing  the boys striving to say in Italian" Grazie per aver fatto nascere mamma!" (thank you for giving birth to my mom).

32) I made sure to acknowledge each and every act of kindness my family and I would receive. Sometimes we tend to overlook what others do for us, and we don't realize that something that might seem small to us, was indeed important for the person that did it for us. Letting everybody know that we appreciate them, does good to everyone.

33) Gave a couple friends some of my essential oils to help them with some health concern they were having.

It was getting too late plus I got stung by some bug on my eye, so I had to extend my birthday to the whole weekend; went home then straight to bed.


34) I left a huge grocery bag full of coupon inserts for another coupon-aholic like me :)

35) Left some diapers and wipes in the mother's lounge at church. If there is any mother like me, someone will find that they have no diapers left in their diaper bag, and will be relieved to see that there are some right there.

36) Gave a babysitting for a day coupon to a friend that I feel could use some time with her husband during a very difficult time for her family.

37) Brought an organic home grown basil plant to a friend at church, since she expressed her desire for it, but never made it to my home to pick it up.

(it wasn't this one, I forgot to take a picture, but this is one of my basil plants nonetheless)


38) We were able to bring dinner (and the cake) to my kids' 3 year old 3rd cousin, who has had brain surgery to fix her seizures and is now in a rehabilitation center 30 minutes from our home. This was the dearest thing we have been able to do, it has done so good to our heart to know that we could help them, and that we didn't have to see each other at a funeral for once! Her mom and grandma were really happy to see us, and the boys fell in love with the little girl, in fact they have been asking to go visit them again, and we soon will.

39) On the way home, we stopped at a rest stop and I left a package of disinfecting wipes in the women bathroom. Somebody will surely use them!

 40) Made pineapple upside down cupcakes for my boys' great grandaddy, who is in a nursing home and who lost his wife of 63 years almost 2 years ago. She used to make him pineapple upside down cake, and I knew that even if I will never make them as good as she did, he would enjoy them. We spent some time with him on memorial day, he really enjoyed seeing us and his 4 great grandchildren, not to mention that we just love seeing him.

While I wasn't able to do all my different acts of kindness in one day, and I didn't get to do all the possible acts of kindness on my list, for a reason or another,  I believe that I was able to touch at least 40 lives on my birthday, and that is enough to make me happy.

Also, I made sure that these acts of kindness did not require spending a huge amount of money, because I wanted them to inspire anybody else to do the same, and in this economy, I know many people think that they don't have the means to help others. 

I really need to thank my husband for all the support he has given me, and my children for their good heart, and why not, for the challenges they have given me while trying to bring this project to life.

In particular I want to mention some of the RAOK I have been blessed to receive from them:

Joseph(7yrs old)

picked up in the living room

Gave his dollar

Jacob(5 yrs old):

Came in my bed and waited for me to give signs of life to then say “ Happy birthday mamma!”… at 6:10 in the morning!

Gave his dollar

Luca (3yr old)

Tried to be extra nice with his brothers

Gave me lots of hugs

Mattia ( 1yr old)

Gave lots of hugs, shared his cup and giraffe blanket with me.

Gave me big cheesy smiles

Chris (my husband)

Tried to tidy up in the kitchen for me before going to work

Wrote me a beautiful letter

Put cards on the door in place of the ones we put for him

Let me sleep when I was exhausted

Helped me with my RAOK, never complaining, ready to do everything that was needed.

Gave me words of comfort when I was getting too stressed because not all the people I wanted to do something for were accepting my offer to help.

I don't know what I did to deserve these guys, but the Lord has seen fit to bless me with them, and I hope to be able to bless them every day more.

I am also glad for my awesome extended family and friends that shared this adventure with us, and I want to mention some of the RAOK that have been reported to me:

Nilla: brought dinner to a family whose mother had just undergone surgery

Mary Lou: made brownies for a neighbor

Mariantonia (my sister) walked a friend's dog for the day

Heidi: " HA! I did it! I gave out 7 bottles of wild orange EO and told them all it was on behalf of your birthday!"

Sabrina: "Spent 3 days helping 2 of my sisters in law clean and re-organize their apartment. It took a lot of work, but in the end it was worth it, and they were thrilled at the result!"

Timalee: "Something simple. In passing I noticed a person who looked as if they could use a little help, so I helped."

Phil: " I shoveled snow....which is a sad thing to be doing so close to summer, but I did it anyway."

A long lost cousin of mine: " My daughter wants to make the 40 RAOK her summertime thing.. and write down each one in a journal throughout the summer" (Isn't she the sweetest?)

Alessandro :" I went and picked up an old lady , helped her do her grocery shopping, and brought her back home. Is that a good RAOK? " (Sure it is!).

I know there have been many silent acts of kindness, and I am immensely grateful for those too.
I hope they might be contagious as they seem to be for my children, since I have seen them do some RAOK each day, from cleaning the car on the spur of the moment to giving up a balloon to give it to a crying little brother who just lost his, to cleaning the bathroom to just being a little nicer to each other.

It really takes a little Random Act of Kindness to make someone's day, and that someone might be so happy that he/she will  be kind to someone else, and that could start a chain reaction that will benefit many lives.

My birthday has been the longest, most exhausting, busiest, craziest birthday ever, but it has been probably the most memorable one, and I hope it will especially stay in my 4 little boys' memory for years to come.

Bookmark your valentine!

How many valentines are going to be bought this year and then will fly in the trash in the next few days following Valentines day?
You know I hate waste, and I particularly dislike generic things, so when I found this template in the template gallery, I thought it would be really cool if my kid could hand out these cute bookmarks with his pictures this year. Aren't they adorable?

This has been created in a 5x7  invitation format, and will make 3 bookmarks once printed.
I am also thinking to create some for the grandparents, with a picture of all three boys in it, and just put "Granpa Rocks" or "Nana Rocks" on the back, so that they can see a picture of their grandchildren every time they sit to read!
If you would like to meke your children's valentines stand out this year, you can send me their pictures and I will create them for you, or you can create them yourself on your HM Publishing account.
Contact me to know more!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You can get a free Publishing account by signing up at http://www.preservemyheritage.com/ and start creating unlimited projects at once!

Want more? Check out our incredible host rewards(50% more for the month of January!!!) and fantastic package deals!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thankful

This is the Season of thanksgiving...
Being Italian, I have never celebrated thanksgiving until I moved to the USA, but I was pretty happy to have one more reason to ponder why I should be thankful, and remember all that I AM thankful for.
Life is pretty difficult right now for so many of us, so many loosing their jobs, so many going through health problems, so many fighting emotional battles...
Still, we all have something we can be thankful for.
Every day is a new gift to us, and a new opportunity to make things better, and to be thankful for our blessings, no matter how big or small.
Being thankful really changes the way our day goes, and the way we treat others.
If we are thankful for what we have, we won't waste our time letting envy possess us for what others seem to have that we don't...
If we are thankful, we are more willing to help others that have a little less to be thankful for..
If we are thankful, we say thank you more often, and we make more people happy.
There are days, I know, in which  being thankful is the last thing that crosses your mind, maybe your child just dropped your favorite vase and there is no way to fix it, maybe your friend just said something that hurt your feelings, maybe you just lost your job, or you didn't get the one you were hoping for, maybe something even worst happened...

For days like this, I have a list to which I periodically try to add something more , to help me remember that there are still things and people I am thankful for.
You can start one for yourself too, if you haven't yet, and see if that works for you.
You can start it this thanksgiving, and add to it any time your realize how thankful you are for something.
I am pretty sure that by next Thanksgiving you are going to have a huge list that you might also desire to share with your family, or you can make it a whole family project, whichever sounds right to you!
So, let's all strive to be thankful, not only during this thanksgiving season, but all year long, and in so doing spread a feeling of thankfulness all around!

When friends move away...

Don't forget to say goodbye!

Some good friends of ours moved far away, and we don't know when we will be able to see them again, so I couldn't let them go without at least creating a card to express how much we will miss them.

This card was created with the new FREE basic Digital Art in Studio 3.0
Stay tuned for more ideas!